Zombie
072106
0121 Hours
Once again, sleep is eluding me. A couple of years ago I was like this, unable to sleep, tossing and turning all night. But back then, nothing was going for me. I was having trouble with alcohol, losing family members, struggling with summer school and my finances. It seemed like nothing could go right. Being from Red Lake, I know many can relate to being knocked down and not sure if getting back up would be worth the effort. It was tough. So the next day, I was so sick of feeling lost and worthless, I told myself I would go out and find a job and not come home until I did. Being that I had no political pull whatsoever (I still don’t), it was useless to beg. But I did go see the Treasurer and he pointed me in the right direction which turned out to be an opportunity at Red Lake Gaming Enterprises as a Compliance Specialist. But after awhile of self reflection, and almost 2 years, that’s not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I learned a lot over there. Enough to know to go do something I could enjoy every day. So here I am, 13 pounds lighter (after gaining about 20 after I quit drinking in June of ’05), clear conscience and the joy of spending every minute of every day with my family, which I wasn’t doing with school, work and partying. Boozers are losers, man!
So now what do I do? I’m a full-time father. Disciplining my kids like nobody’s business. Now that I think about it, after watching “Madea’s Family Reunion,” I kind of saw my parenting skills in that old lady. I hope nobody else does. That was a pretty good movie. I was surprised. I thought the first one was pretty good too.
So now let me get off that topic to save what little manhood I have left. Speaking of kids, I had quite possibly the most satisfying conversation with my oldest nephew yesterday. He told me that he would never start drinking because of all that he’s seen in his short 13 years. I was surprised (and relieved) to hear that. And so proud. He’s a smart young man. I once told him that he has to always remember that he’s going to be looked up to for the rest of his life because he’s the oldest of my mom’s grandkids. I don’t know if he remembers that, but I remember when I told him. One thing about him though, I would force him to play baseball. I don’t want to see that talent being wasted playing men’s softball for the rest of his life. Playing men’s softball, bad habits are picked up off the field. So I’ll do what I can.
Come to think of it, what would I do if I were to have a boy? After three girls, it would be quite a change. Would I force him to be a suffering Cubs fan? Of course I would. I need someone to share my misery with. And I would put a ball and glove in his crib the first day he came home. Or something like that.
Tito, get me some tissue.
I'm getting soft in my old age.
Suck on that!
0121 Hours
Once again, sleep is eluding me. A couple of years ago I was like this, unable to sleep, tossing and turning all night. But back then, nothing was going for me. I was having trouble with alcohol, losing family members, struggling with summer school and my finances. It seemed like nothing could go right. Being from Red Lake, I know many can relate to being knocked down and not sure if getting back up would be worth the effort. It was tough. So the next day, I was so sick of feeling lost and worthless, I told myself I would go out and find a job and not come home until I did. Being that I had no political pull whatsoever (I still don’t), it was useless to beg. But I did go see the Treasurer and he pointed me in the right direction which turned out to be an opportunity at Red Lake Gaming Enterprises as a Compliance Specialist. But after awhile of self reflection, and almost 2 years, that’s not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I learned a lot over there. Enough to know to go do something I could enjoy every day. So here I am, 13 pounds lighter (after gaining about 20 after I quit drinking in June of ’05), clear conscience and the joy of spending every minute of every day with my family, which I wasn’t doing with school, work and partying. Boozers are losers, man!
So now what do I do? I’m a full-time father. Disciplining my kids like nobody’s business. Now that I think about it, after watching “Madea’s Family Reunion,” I kind of saw my parenting skills in that old lady. I hope nobody else does. That was a pretty good movie. I was surprised. I thought the first one was pretty good too.
So now let me get off that topic to save what little manhood I have left. Speaking of kids, I had quite possibly the most satisfying conversation with my oldest nephew yesterday. He told me that he would never start drinking because of all that he’s seen in his short 13 years. I was surprised (and relieved) to hear that. And so proud. He’s a smart young man. I once told him that he has to always remember that he’s going to be looked up to for the rest of his life because he’s the oldest of my mom’s grandkids. I don’t know if he remembers that, but I remember when I told him. One thing about him though, I would force him to play baseball. I don’t want to see that talent being wasted playing men’s softball for the rest of his life. Playing men’s softball, bad habits are picked up off the field. So I’ll do what I can.
Come to think of it, what would I do if I were to have a boy? After three girls, it would be quite a change. Would I force him to be a suffering Cubs fan? Of course I would. I need someone to share my misery with. And I would put a ball and glove in his crib the first day he came home. Or something like that.
Tito, get me some tissue.
I'm getting soft in my old age.
Suck on that!
posted by Jonny R. at 2:02 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home