Jon Returns
070606
1402 Hours
Did you enjoy the birthday of THEIR nation? The US is 230-years-old. I tell ya, it doesn’t look a day over 210. Just remember while you were out setting off fireworks that this country was built by a bunch of slave-owners that didn’t want to pay their taxes! I got that from “Dazed and Confused.” Who says TV rots your brain?
Also, the Red Lake Nation has been independent (kinda) for 117 years. Yeah, they can say we get handouts, but this was owed to us, man! Kill most of our people, turn us into you, and create your fancy religion so you can ask God for forgiveness for all that you’ve done to the original people! Curse you to heck, man! Curse you all to heck! But thank you for educating us so we can speak your language thus allowing me to vent and turn my words into verbal bows and arrows via Microsoft Word. And TV.
Okay, with that out of the way, let’s see what’s out in the world today.
It looks like we all survived the asteroid fly-by.
Is it just me, or are parades degrading? We all stand on the street to await stuff being thrown on the ground in our direction so we can eat it later. Maybe it's just me.
I saw “Superman Returns” last night and was very impressed by it all. Good deal. It started out with us showing up late, thus me holding in the soda I just guzzled down fighting back against the hottest wings known to mankind via the chicken torturers at “KFC.” So while awaiting the beginning of the flick to see if the opening credits would include vital scenes, I couldn’t hold the soda back much longer. I made an important decision to hold it for 154 minutes. Then the opening credits came, much to my delight, without vital plot points. So I was off to the bathroom, faster than a speeding bullet… and wouldn’t you know it, the “Superman” music was playing while I was hurrying to the bathroom. I felt like opening up my shirt to reveal a scarlet “S” and taking my glasses off while going down the ramp of the theater. That made it the best movie ever. Plus it was a good movie anyway. I suggest it to all.
1402 Hours
Did you enjoy the birthday of THEIR nation? The US is 230-years-old. I tell ya, it doesn’t look a day over 210. Just remember while you were out setting off fireworks that this country was built by a bunch of slave-owners that didn’t want to pay their taxes! I got that from “Dazed and Confused.” Who says TV rots your brain?
Also, the Red Lake Nation has been independent (kinda) for 117 years. Yeah, they can say we get handouts, but this was owed to us, man! Kill most of our people, turn us into you, and create your fancy religion so you can ask God for forgiveness for all that you’ve done to the original people! Curse you to heck, man! Curse you all to heck! But thank you for educating us so we can speak your language thus allowing me to vent and turn my words into verbal bows and arrows via Microsoft Word. And TV.
Okay, with that out of the way, let’s see what’s out in the world today.
It looks like we all survived the asteroid fly-by.
Is it just me, or are parades degrading? We all stand on the street to await stuff being thrown on the ground in our direction so we can eat it later. Maybe it's just me.
I saw “Superman Returns” last night and was very impressed by it all. Good deal. It started out with us showing up late, thus me holding in the soda I just guzzled down fighting back against the hottest wings known to mankind via the chicken torturers at “KFC.” So while awaiting the beginning of the flick to see if the opening credits would include vital scenes, I couldn’t hold the soda back much longer. I made an important decision to hold it for 154 minutes. Then the opening credits came, much to my delight, without vital plot points. So I was off to the bathroom, faster than a speeding bullet… and wouldn’t you know it, the “Superman” music was playing while I was hurrying to the bathroom. I felt like opening up my shirt to reveal a scarlet “S” and taking my glasses off while going down the ramp of the theater. That made it the best movie ever. Plus it was a good movie anyway. I suggest it to all.
posted by Jonny R. at 2:09 PM
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