I've Changed

For a few minutes yesterday, my anger got the best of me. I have never felt so much hate for anybody in my whole life. I just snapped. Although it wasn’t what’s seen in the news, it was pretty close. For a few seconds, I lost control of my emotions and rational thinking. I’ve never been like that before… ever. Do I regret what I did? No. Would I do it again? Yes. The emotional hell that I’ve been through the past 11 months is something that I’ve dealt with in my own way. I mean, who knows me better than me? Nobody. I didn’t need anyone to tell me what I should’ve been thinking at that time. I know what I’m capable of. I know when I’m wrong and I especially know when others are wrong. This whole ordeal has nothing to do with me. It’s about one of the most precious little ladies in the whole wide world. Since last year, I feel that everyone that who is supposed to be there for us deserted us. Excuses were made and accepted by everybody but me and my little family. I’m done with the non-existent fairytale world those people live in. For so many years I’ve sat back and have let people tell me what to do, let them tell me what’s best for me. I appreciate all they’ve done, but to not be able to understand the horrible incident that we’ve been through ALONE the past 11 months is, to me, unacceptable. Bringing up irrelevant issues while I was in the state of mind that I was in could have been costly. What a cheap shot! It had nothing to do with why I was there and how I reacted. Nothing will ever make me forget what happened. Anywhere else, things would be a lot worse for that individual. May that individual feel all the hurt, shame, humiliation, embarrassment and confusion that was inflicted on that day.