WHAT???!!! WHAT???!!! OKAAAAAAAY!!!

"Ahh, there you are my old friend. I was wondering where you were. I was almost beginning to miss you. It's so good to see you again, confusion." No, that's not part of my book. It's just what's been in my head the past few hours. Well, I did it. I stayed alcohol free this weekend... although, technically it's still the weekend as we speak... hmm... yeah, I can go without for the rest of the day. Wait... tomorrow is still the weekend! But I can stay strong for that too. Yup, yup... not much going on today but the confusion that has consumed me for the better part of the past 4 months. But I'll get by. No comments on my blog-book yet, so either nobody's reading it or it's being ignored. Either way is cool with me. I was just looking to kill sometime yesterday and I thought why not bore the blogworld with my look on life? That was about 6 pages of it and I haven't really written much more than that. But I have other stories that I wrote for my fiction writing class 2 years ago that would fit perfectly into this story, so maybe I'll do that. Sheet! I'm going to see the Longest Yard! I have no work to do until later, so I might as well enjoy the afternoon with a movie. I'll be back with a review later on. So... I'm out!

The Book of Jon: Chapter I

As I sit here waiting to go fix a plate at a graduation dinner, I ponder, "Where the hell is all the media?! (there was one van when I rode by earlier) Something good happens here and the media doesn't want to share it with the world?!" (SERENITY NOW!!!) Okay, I'm cool now. I think I need a beer or 12. But anyway, I'm going to share the first few pages of my "book". If someone happens to read it, let me know what you think. I can take it. I've faced a few harsh critiques about my writings in college, so I can take it. Just let a brotha know!!! So, here it is...

The Book of Jon

Chapter I

Alcohol, drugs, disrespect and stupidity flow through the invisible borders that keep them a sovereign nation like an airborne disease in which no one can or will recover from. For over a hundred years they have lived in the northern end of the northern most state in the country. Their ancestors held off the government for many years to give them the opportunity to be free of the influences that could corrupt their way of life. Not all are wasting what was left for them. Most are thriving in the environment that gives them more than enough of an opportunity to be successful. There are just a few making these surroundings unbearable. Enough to make some want to move away and never come back. Sure, there is alcohol, drugs and a lot of ignorance outside those invisible borders, but most think that it happens out there because of the many different cultures that clash in the chaotic world. Since there is such a small amount of Natives roaming the land, they think, “It’s not our fault that a civil society is on the verge of failing.” Well, maybe not in those words, but something like that. Within their own borders the government calls a reservation, it’s harder to accept the wrongs of their own people, the people that are supposed to live in harmony with each other and pass their culture to each new generation, which is not happening enough. It probably never will. The temptations that lead to first step of a vicious cycle are hard to resist. Some can handle the choices they make, but others fail miserably and take many with them.
This is the story of those caught in the middle of it all.

... continued, The Book of Jon

How We Are Where We Are

Another beautiful day is half-way finished for the young Lakota fisherman who is trying to catch the day’s food for his family. A traditionally woven birch bark basket full of bass and walleye sits beside him while he attempts reach his quota of fish for the day.
“Hey, what’s up, man?” a voice from behind him says.
Not recognizing the individual or the regalia he was wearing, the young Lakota responds with, “Uh, nothing. Where did you come from? And what the hell are you doing here?”
“Hey, man, don’t tell anybody, okay? I’m lost,” he says with a mischievous chuckle.
The fisherman doesn’t seem to trust the new visitor and asks, “Where are you from?”
“Come on man, I’m one of you guys. I’m from the tribe a few miles down the river. I’m… Crazy Talk, son of, um, Big Feather. You know, from down the river,” the mysterious stranger says sounding more unconfident in his story with every word.
“You are, huh? Well, why don’t we—“
“Wow! You guys have some pretty cool stuff around here. Hey! Is that wild rice over there? Are there fish in that water? Awesome!” the visitor says as he cuts off the Lakota fisherman before he can finish his sentence.
“Yeah, everything is as you see it,” the Lakota assures the rogue sightseer.
“Cool.”
After admiring the surroundings for a couple of seconds, the unknown man’s eyes gleam with envy and he begins to act unruly, “What did you say to me punk? You think you’re better than me? Huh?”
“What? I didn’t say anything to you!” the fisherman says.
“You better watch your mouth, buddy! I don’t like to be back sassed,” he says in a seriously threatening tone.
“But I didn’t say anything to you!”
“Oh, that’s it now! It’s on!”
The visitor turned out to be of the Red Lake Band of Ojibwe who was scouting new locations for his tribe to migrate to and thus started a bloody war between the two nations that lead to the Red Lake Anishinaabeg defeating the Lakota for the resource rich land that would be theirs for many years to come.

Patience Darlin', Patience...

Awww, man! A broken elbow for mother f'n Mark Prior! Will this endless cycle of misfortune ever cease?! Yup, it looks like the Cubs have lost their franchise pitcher for the season. Whatever. Graduation day for the RL Nation is here. It will be nice to see something good come out of that school after what has all happened this past year. Let's just hope everybody is safe tonight and drinks responsibly and all that other after school special stuff. Me, I don't plan on doing anything tonight. But, that is how I plan every weekend and I think we all know what happens. Eventually I'm going to start my book, "The Book of Jon", soon. Right now with working full-time, coaching a youth softball team and playing on a co-ed team, there's really no time for anything else. But, I'll eventually find time to share my rez story with the blog world. In the words of Wooderson, "Patience darlin', patience." And for those of you who don't know who Wooderson is, SHAME ON YOU!!! He's in the movie "Dazed and Confused", the older guy who parties with the high schoolers. So check it out! Right now, I'm at work and must at least act like I'm trying to work. So, I'm out!!!

It's FRIDAY???!!! It's On Now!!!

What a beautiful Memorial Day weekend it's turning out to be. Cloudy sky, a light drizzle and a touch of wind. Who wants to party???!!! What the hell is going on this weekend? Hmm... graduation parties all over the R-E-Z on Saturday, which I'll try and avoid 'cause I've seen the light... yes AGAIN! I didn't drink too much last weekend, only about a 6 pack. Didn't get out of it, just sat around at the neighbor's and watched everyone else drink like it was going out of style. I'm getting too old to be going out every weekend. I am on my last year of my 20's, you know. Anyways... well I'll be, Viagra makes you go blind, huh? Isn't that what parents have told young boys for years? I know it was something like that. Mark Prior took a line drive off the elbow?! NOOOOO!!! Why God???!!! At least they're winning today. Cheese and rice! What am I going to do this weekend to stay on the wagon of sobriety. I think I'll just say, "Hell with it!!!" It is one of the biggest party weekends of the year, so I'm gone! (That's a little reverse psychology... or did I just unreverse it now? Either way, I'm havin' a brew or 20 this weekend.) I'm out and hope to see you on the trail!!! It's 4:20 somewhere!!! (Whatever that means.)

Peek!!!

Wow! 12 days since my last rant. That's a long ass time, bro. Well, I've been... we'll say, busy. Or we could call it a "spiritual retreat". Whatever. These past few weeks have been so confusing for me. Life is like... I don't know how to describe it. Once you think you have it all figured out, it comes back with something even more confusing. I just don't know what to do, who to turn to, who to trust or anything. But, at least the Cubs have won 3 in a row! I actually had a week free from stress and drama. That was nice. I just wish it could've lasted. But, you know how this life stuff works. All I know is, a brotha needs some money!!! Man, it's hotter than balls in here! I gotta get the eff outta here!!! More thoughts on life soon. I'm out!!!

My Gift... My Curse

Greetings and salutations, fellow occupants of Earth. Back from a restless night, I ponder the future of this machine we call The Jon. And no, I wasn't consuming enormous amounts of acohol... it was only Thursday, for the love of all things holy! While I was out looking for volunteers for my co-ed adult softball team (anybody want to play... or what) last night, my mom scared the fecal matter out of me. She had to go to the hospital because she hasn't been feeling well for a few days, and being the way I am (for the love of me I don't know why I do this to myself), I started to look too far ahead again and stressed myself out. But, she ended up with nothing major (so the RL doctor said), which was the biggest relief for me in probably my whole life. That led me to believe that my mom is not immortal, although that was what I've thought the past 29 years, 3 months, and 1 day. (holy schnikeys, it's Friday the 13th!!!) The way I see things is so wrong. I look too far ahead and end up worrying myself into a sleepless night. Like Spider-Man, "this is my gift, this is my curse." (I think I'll have to double check that quote to make sure it's right... isn't that a Jay-Z CD too? If someone knows the answers to these, let a brotha know!) I consider it my gift because when I think things all the way through, I stay out of trouble and keep others safe from that trouble. My curse, because of how it stresses me out. Hey, that does sound like Spider-Man! Maybe I am a superhero... nah, superheros aren't lazy. But anyway, everything's good with her now, so my weekend shall proceed accordingly. It's going to be a well-behaved weekend even though I'm going to a birthday cookout (happy b-day, EARS!!! WOO!!! GIMME A BEER!!!) I have to go pick up my youth team's equipment today because practice starts on Monday and the adult co-ed has their first game on Wednesday. So I'm gonna go put my game face on. AAAARRRGGGGHHH!!! I'm out.

What to Do, What to Do...

Woo! This working full time crap is a lot of... well work. Graduation is somewhat, but not by much, a little closer. I did register for next semester even though it's guaranteed I'm using my own scratch (and no, that STILL hasn't caught on yet). I've been reading about the rez a lot lately and have noticed people are starting to realize that it's up to the adults of the RL Nation to do something about the way we are. We're being blamed for not leading by example. We drink for days (which I shamefully admit I did) and let our kids see us in such an awful state. Though not many drugs have been through my system the past few months/years (I can't remember which), I still have to take responsibility for my actions (My name is Jon, and I'm an alcoholic [which I've been trying to do for a while, going to rehab and getting help... but rehab is for quitters!!!]). But I know it's going to take a lot for me to realize that I have to stop. No excuses for being the way I am, just no will power. I've got a long road ahead of me. Will I stop? Probably not. Should I stop? Most definitely. Awww, man! There's a cookout this Friday, all the budds are gonna be there! Just one last time couldn't hurt, could it? This is my life... and no, I'm not proud. At least the Cubs won today!!!

BATTLE!!!

Yet again, another Friday is upon us. And a beautiful Friday I might add. Awesome! Let's see... what's on the people's agenda today? Work, bowling, and trying to fight the good fight against alcoholism. Wish me luck. I'm going to need it. FUGGIT! GIMME A BEER! Okay, the urge is gone now. But, anyway, I'm back at work full time until next semester making and saving some scratch (still my new lame word for money... and it hasn't caught on yet, hmm...) so I can go on vacation sometime this summer, hopefully to Chicago to see a certain team that starts with a "C" and ends with "UBS". This is the year, man! I've had one request to start my book on the blog, so we'll see how that goes. Thanks for the ego boost, Mar! You're my boy, Mar!!! Not much else going on with me lately, just laying low, trying to stay out of the gossip columns and stuff. There's nothing to do around this place, which is why I'm the raging alcoholic that I am. Well, maybe not raging, but I do like the occasional party... but who doesn't? Right? Huh? Huh? Who's with me? Then again, denial is the first stage of alcoholism or addiction. Isn't it? I heard that somewhere, not too sure how true it is. But, whatever, bro. Just sitting here waiting for 7CRL to open so I can go be nosey and learn more stuff about more stuff. Or does it open at 9AM on Fridays? Holy, I think it does! Oops! In the immortal words of Scarface (Half Baked Edition), "Fu$% you, fu@# you, fu&% you... you're cool, and fu@# you, I'm out!"

Ladies and Gentlemen...

So nobody wanted to guess that song from Friday, huh? FINE!!! I actually had a winner from about a month ago about the "Is the juice worth the squeeze?" quote, but I didn't actually offer a prize... so sorry SHE WHO WATCHES TOO MUCH TV. Maybe next time, buddy. Or is it that nobody likes the prizes I'm giving away? Maybe that's it... well, how about money then? As soon as I find some, I'll give it away. Whatever. But, I was thinking about my book, and maybe that's not such a good idea. Some people have a habit of taking things the wrong way (like me for instance). So, I'll just continue to bore the blog world with my ramblings about nothing in particular. What is going on today? Hmm... how about the, uh, no... I talked about that already. What about the direction our society is headed? Wow. Good topic, Jon. I see that some things are acceptable for some to say or do, while it's unforgivable for others to do or say the same thing. Is it manners? Respect? Or what? I was watching a Chris Rock performance last night, and, is it me, or is he capable of running our country? The things he was saying were right on. There were only things that he could say and get away with, which I admire the most. I'm part of a minority group, can I say whatever the hell I want without being labled a racist? Or am I already a racist? What is the definition of racist? Is it thinking that your race is far more superior to other races? Because if that's the definition, then no, I'm not a racist. By the way we as Natives, though not all, are wasting every opportunity that we get, myself included, I don't think that we are a superior race. We drink, we smoke, make excuses for our surroundings, act disrespectful, do stupid things, but then again, every race does that. So I guess no race is superior to another. I used to say things when I tried to rap along with some of these millionaire rappers, does that make me a racist? I paid almost $20 for a CD, can I sing along with it without getting labled a racist? Or am I supposed to buy the edited version? Or what? Hell no, I'm not buying the edited version! 20 bucks... ridiculous. I'll go back to the Washington Redskins, just this one last time. The whole world gets to say Redskins throughout the winter. Does that seem fair? Alright, now I'm upset. Hey, I sounded pretty smart for a few seconds. Maybe I should run for a public office or something. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, LYDELL JON ROBERTS. That looks awesome! But I guess I would have to start small. Governor? Senator? Congressman? Mayor? Chairman!!! Nah, maybe smaller. So now maybe I have a political career to look forward to. Nah, too much work for me. I'll think of something. I'm outta here den!!!

Yo, Coach!!!

What a weekend! One that has shown me that I can't keep up my partying ways. I mean, physically, I don't think I have it in me anymore. Maybe mentally, too. I know, I say this every 3 months or so, but I think it is time for me to find a more constructive hobby. I will start coaching youth softball this summer, so I have to set an example for the youth of our Nation... somehow. So, any kids in the Little Rock area ages 8-13 want to play, or even learn the game of softball, let a bro know (hey, that rhymed!). And, no, I won't show up for practice or games drunk, like on the Bad News Bears with coach Buttermaker. So that will keep me busy for a while. This is DAY ONE (actually day 2, that just looked cooler): OPERATION SOBER EAGLE. Wish me luck people. The novel, "The Book Of Jon" will start soon. It will contain everything that I have lived, seen, did, and everybody I know will get a mention. So if you're not comfortable with that... you better go and hide. JUST KIDDING!!! Everything is going to be made up... or is it? I'm out!