Thou Art Back
I pity the fools who dare read this! What would this world be had not Mr. T. graced us with his awesomeness? Undisciplined I tell ya.
Now that the construction on my ranch is complete, I can now go back to L-I-V-I-N. I can go back to my usual retired lifestyle with surfin' the net, watching TV, gaining weight, wishing I had past glories in my high school days to reflect upon and midday naps. Once again, I would recommend them for all. But I don't call them naps, I call it "recharging." That way it sounds like you actually did something to recharge from. And a lot cooler.
But anyway, interview numero two, uh... oh, came and went by on Monday and went quite well I'm hoping. And no, I didn't mention my ability to be awesome 24/7 this time around because I didn't freeze as much as I did during my last interview. Speaking of which, I didn't get the Prevention Specialist job. Which was good, because as a parent and being alcohol-free for 362 days, what the hell do I know about keeping kids busy and away from drugs and alcohol? No, that wasn't a shot. Or was it?
I don't know, bro... but I do know how awesome it is to be an uncle! You can say whatever you want to kids and they have to listen to you. You can be the disciplinarian to somebody else's kids if you see that they aren't acting right. Yeah, I'm strict and tough with my kids, why should I be any different to other kids? And that's what I'm here for. The "Master Uncle" Joe Roberts taught me well. He was the Obi to my Anakin... or the Yoda to my Luke... or, uh... either way, he taught me well.
Another thing that has me pretty excited? Getting old. I know that sounds crazy, but old people can say anything and it sounds smart. Really, go ask an old person something and they can end up telling you how they tied their shoes last week and it sounds like they're passing on the secret to everlasting life or undeciphered wisdom. I think about these things because I'm 30 and not getting any younger. So maybe, just maybe, I shall be full of wisdom someday. And how come everybody my age is getting gray hair and I'm not? Was I supposed to sign up for that somewhere? I demand an answer!
One more thing... GET TO WORK!!! Word around the campfire is that some tribal programs are losing their internet access. So I shall share an office secret with you: Open up Microsoft Word or Excel in another window, keep your internet in the other and when you sense a disturbance in the "Slacker Force" (don't worry, not everybody has it), jump to said Word or Excel like you were busy with an important company document. I liked to jump to Excel because it looks more important. Or you can just GET TO WORK!!!
Now that the construction on my ranch is complete, I can now go back to L-I-V-I-N. I can go back to my usual retired lifestyle with surfin' the net, watching TV, gaining weight, wishing I had past glories in my high school days to reflect upon and midday naps. Once again, I would recommend them for all. But I don't call them naps, I call it "recharging." That way it sounds like you actually did something to recharge from. And a lot cooler.
But anyway, interview numero two, uh... oh, came and went by on Monday and went quite well I'm hoping. And no, I didn't mention my ability to be awesome 24/7 this time around because I didn't freeze as much as I did during my last interview. Speaking of which, I didn't get the Prevention Specialist job. Which was good, because as a parent and being alcohol-free for 362 days, what the hell do I know about keeping kids busy and away from drugs and alcohol? No, that wasn't a shot. Or was it?
I don't know, bro... but I do know how awesome it is to be an uncle! You can say whatever you want to kids and they have to listen to you. You can be the disciplinarian to somebody else's kids if you see that they aren't acting right. Yeah, I'm strict and tough with my kids, why should I be any different to other kids? And that's what I'm here for. The "Master Uncle" Joe Roberts taught me well. He was the Obi to my Anakin... or the Yoda to my Luke... or, uh... either way, he taught me well.
Another thing that has me pretty excited? Getting old. I know that sounds crazy, but old people can say anything and it sounds smart. Really, go ask an old person something and they can end up telling you how they tied their shoes last week and it sounds like they're passing on the secret to everlasting life or undeciphered wisdom. I think about these things because I'm 30 and not getting any younger. So maybe, just maybe, I shall be full of wisdom someday. And how come everybody my age is getting gray hair and I'm not? Was I supposed to sign up for that somewhere? I demand an answer!
One more thing... GET TO WORK!!! Word around the campfire is that some tribal programs are losing their internet access. So I shall share an office secret with you: Open up Microsoft Word or Excel in another window, keep your internet in the other and when you sense a disturbance in the "Slacker Force" (don't worry, not everybody has it), jump to said Word or Excel like you were busy with an important company document. I liked to jump to Excel because it looks more important. Or you can just GET TO WORK!!!
posted by Jonny R. at 11:10 AM
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