A Second Calling?

102705
1501 Hours

On such a beautiful Thursday afternoon, the architect of the world famous National Jonny R. Hug Day ponders many more ideas that might someday bring him riches beyond his wildest dreams: Ideas such as getting into the graphic novel business. My words, Mrs. The Jon’s art? That’s gold I tell ya! Gold!

Ever since Sin City, I’ve always been fond of the idea. Actually, it even goes further back than that. Nobody knows the “Rez” life like me I suppose. Over a quarter of a century worth of stories have been stored in my big head. I would love to do something like that. As of right now, the real world isn’t really doing it for me. I need an outlet for my frustrations. The life I’ve led, if I told each and every story I’ve encountered over the years would be shocking. But first, I would have to actually read a graphic novel to grasp the concept and that sounds like a lot of work. That’s going to suck. So I guess my first weekend off in 2 months has a purpose. I’ll check it out.

Now that I know what I want to do with my life, I was also pondering a change in jobs. Why would I want to change what I’m doing? Well, the sense of accomplishment is not there for me. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything meaningful. Like over the summer, I coached youth softball and I felt like I was doing something that I could be proud of. This job doesn’t have it. But, of course, I hinted at the idea of changing careers to some of my family and they didn’t think it was wise. I got an awkward smile from my mom and a disapproving look from Mrs. The Jon. But who knows me like me? Me!

WHAT?!

Batman Begins is out on DVD! It’s a must have for the fall’s viewing season. I’m almost tempted to pass on the kids’ costumes to fulfill my obligation as a Batman fan. Hey, that’s what cheap make-up is for, right?! Speaking of Halloween, I’m thinking of shaving my head and going as Charlie Brown or Pinky on “Next Friday.” Maybe even just wear a red t-shirt (and only a red t-shirt) and going as Winnie the (mother fu****’) Poo. Decisions, decisions. Maybe we’ll all go as KISS.

I forgot to post my Vegas trip pictures! Honestly, there wasn’t really much to show besides the usual New York, New York thing, a couple pics from the Strip and … not much else. Again, I was very disappointed in Vegas. The wagon was traveling too fast for me to fall off. 4 months and I feel like a saint. I think I should be inducted into some kind of drunken hall of fame.

But right now I’m going to get some stories going in my head and see if Mrs. The Jon wants to do some artwork for me. They will be posted. Rock and roll!

Unimpressed

102505
1050 Hours

Well, I survived my 3 days in Vegas. Not much to report really. The plane ride was the worst. Little turbulence my ass! I slept the whole first day there. I don’t travel well. Who woulda thought I would miss Red Lake so much? But after a few days back, I’m ready to leave again. Vegas didn’t do it for me. I wasn’t impressed. Maybe if I was a rich alcoholic it would’ve been a little more exciting. I took a few pictures, nothing I haven’t really seen on TV before. There were no celebrity sightings, no fights, no robberies, nothing! If and when I go back I’m going to take thousands of dollars with and go back to my drinking ways. Maybe that will get a rise out of me. Well, maybe not go back to the drinking, but definitely take a lot more money. Speaking of drinking, well lack of drinking, today is my 123rd day of sobriety. Instead of focusing on partying hard like back in the day, I just eat as much junk as possible and drink gallons of pop at a time. Then later on I’m going to go on one of those diet things everybody always talks about. You know, just to see if I can do it. Right now I’m going to go to lunch and find a new hobby because apparently the one I have now is going to kill me in a few months.

Goin' Goin', Back Back, To Vegas Vegas

101805
1358 Hours

I will report from Vegas if technology that far out west is on par with ours here in Red Lake. And that’s a big IF. Wish me luck! What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Shhh!

From The Bottom of the Totem Pole

101605
1427 Hours

Operation Jonny R. Nat’l Hug Day was a success. One person applied the random hug method and was incarcerated for for his effort. Good job, buddy!

Check out this deep thought:

As I was cruising from work to the laundry mat, I remembered the reason I quit drinking. There was a car load of older, seasoned drinkers in a car in the parking lot trying to be cute to whoever was around. I thought back and remembered that’s how I used to be. That’s a tough realization. I was embarrassed for them and even more so for myself. If I kept up my ways of drinking to forget the hurt that was crippling me emotionally at the time, alcohol would’ve been an even bigger problem for me. After that, even more thoughts popped into my head. Things like all of the problems that hurt not just my fellow Red Lakers, but everybody. It occurred to me that pride is the deadliest of all sins for most. Some are too proud to back down from peer pressure and end up in prison for stupid reasons. Others are too proud to admit that they have other issues they can’t deal with like drugs or alcohol. I know the pressures of growing up on the “Rez.” I’ve lived here for 25 of my 29 years. It’s a tough environment to grow up in. Drugs and alcohol are everywhere and done by people you would never expect. To me, it’s coming to a point where everybody thinks if everybody else is doing this, why shouldn’t I? Do what you have to do to survive is the unspoken motto of the “Rez.” Kind of like what the fake rappers rap in their songs. For me being a father at the tender age of 19, it is even harder to succeed in the world. 10 years later I still struggle like I did back then even though I went to college and have a better job than back then. But who knows where and how to change everything? I sure as hell don’t. I think I need a gawdamn hug now.

Hey, I kinda like the name of the title of this post. From now on, that will be the name of my blog! Hoh, I'm clever, eh?

A Declaration

101505
1001 Hours

We are now approximately 12 hours from me becoming a multi-millionaire. $300 million will be all mine. Well, split up 13 ways with my fellow co-workers, will leave me with about $22 million-ish. Minus taxes, cut that in half for the option… dang! That will only leave me with a few million left! Forget it! I don’t want to win the stupid Power Ball then!

Well, now that that’s over…

I finished my book I was reading, “Now I Can Die in Peace” by “The Sports Guy” Bill Simmons. My total books read in my life are now up to 3! Yay! It took me a week but it was alright I guess. As an avid reader of his columns on espn.com, Page 2, it was just like rereading those columns. It was entertaining though. Now if I could just get him to sign it. So much for my reading material for Vegas.

Gaw damn! Some of these bloggers need a hug. Others need to put a shirt on.

As of 10:39 am, due to boredom, October 15, 2005, the 3rd Saturday in October will be known as Jonny R. National Hug Day. Tell your friends.

Yeah, I Said It!

101405
1435 Hours

Dig my pic? It’s what I’ve been feeling like lately.

Okay, so I haven’t let out a flurry of posts like I said I was going to. Get used to it. That’s what I’m like everyday. The Alpha Procrastinating Slacker is in the building. But nothing really has been happening for me lately. I work, go home, watch TV, eat, poop, sleep, wake up, shower and repeat. I am 29 years old you know.

Recently I’ve eliminated the anonymous comment thing because of the stupid spam stuff. Please forgive me.

Well, it looks like my trip to Vegas is set. If someone ever needed to get away from somewhere, it would be me away from Red Lake. It’s not a vacation but at least I get to get away from everything for a while. And on this trip I will be the gentleman I’ve always been known as. Wait, I’ve never been known as a gentleman. Uh-oh! This sounds like trouble! Nah, I should be all right. One thing I’m going to do is document every little detail and confess to the blog world. That should keep me out of trouble… I hope. Rock and Roll!

I really have no idea what to expect from this trip. I’m getting ideas from co-workers and it sounds like it could be an interesting 3 days and 3 nights.

Anyway, how about some thoughts? They seem to roll out like diarrhea on a bad day.

Things I’ve thought of while planning my world domination tour…

• If I ever started a band, I would call it “”Wicked B.O.” We would be the most offensive rock band in the world! (Da Dum! I kill me!)
  
• Guess who dreamt Eva Longoria was rubbing his big belly last night? It rhymes with Jon! D’oh!!!
  
• Why didn’t anybody tell me the NHL started last week?! WTF?! Anyway… go North Stars! What? What the hell is a Dallas Star? What the hell is a Wild? Green and red? What are we, Santa’s little helpers?!
  
• Would I have to retire the Jonny 2 Beers name since I don’t drink anymore? Well I’m not going to! What about Mr. Friday Night? I give myself the coolest names. Like GLC trying to call himself T-Bone.
  
• Am I the only one pissed off at “Lost?” I’m giving you mother effers one more week to clear this crap up. I don’t want to have to put a puzzle together, it’s a TV show for Christ’s sake! You smart people and your smart stuff!
  
• I gotta poop. Chicky check you tomorrow!

Me against the world... I'm losing. 

First of a Flurry of Posts

100805
1412 Hours

One thing is for sure about this blogging business; it should be updated as much as possible. But this week for me has been pretty busy. Work, car troubles and life have handcuffed me lately. The freedom to express my opinions to the blog world has been hampered enough! My love for all things fattening has comforted me in my time of need. Right now I’m eating a blueberry muffin and chasing it down with a Coke and Cheetos. Boredom is a bee-otch! Come to think of it, I don’t need any comforting, I’m just bored.

But anyway…

For the first time in 6 years and for only the second time in my life, I bought a book that will not be used for any educational purposes. I bought “Now I Can Die in Peace” by “The Sports Guy” Bill Simmons which I’m enjoying more than any piece of American literature that has come out at any time during this millennium. It is truly a deep look at suffering, explaining the unexplainable, and how one can extend his inner most… okay, I ran out of big words right there, so sue me! As of right now I’ve only read through page 51 and have been laughing out loud to myself on many occasions. Man, it must suck being a Red Sox fan! Wait, I’m still a Cubs fan. From him trying to change his name to Jabbal to increase his chances at running the 1 for the Celtics to him realizing he’s going to hell for making fun of Corky on “Life Goes On,” it inspires me even more to write about life. Indeed, good times, Mr. Simmons. Good times.

Last night the family and I went to the kids’ Family Fun Night at their school. The raffle ticket drawing allowed me to acquire a free oil change which went nice with the dry popcorn that sucked up the drool from pining for turkey dogs (what the hell are turkey dogs?). But it was good to see the kids having fun at a school they wanted to drop out of after 6 days.

Not a bad way to spend a Friday night. And there wasn't even any sarcasm in that last sentence. Boozers are losers!

Triple Digits!

100205
0923 Hours

100 days. 0 drinks. This is my life. My new and improved life I should say and I love it. “I’m out there. And I’m loving every minute of it!!!” as the great Mr. Kramer once said.

Yeah, this is my 100th day of sobriety. This is by far the longest I’ve ever gone since I started drinking so many years ago. What I’ve been missing in alcohol I’m making up for with enormous amounts of soda pop. The lesser of 2 evils I guess. But I feel like a hundred bucks (again, that’s a lot of money to me). Physically, emotionally and, uh… spiritually, I guess. It feels good to wake up in the morning on weekends with my kids and tell them to fix their own damn cereal. Good times.

I found things to keep busy this summer, like softball. I gave up bowling in the league this year due to the bad influences and my inability to fight peer pressure. Plus, my shoulder was ruined last year while putting up a 140 average (compared to a 119 average the year before). This past summer of coaching and playing softball was a lot of fun. Kids looked up to me while I was coaching and I felt something that was never really there for me before; a sense of accomplishment. I was actually a role model! That was another reason that I was glad I quit drinking. I didn’t want to end up like Morris Buttermaker in “The Bad News Bears.” (Which by the way, I saw the remake this summer and was very, very disappointed. Tanner Boyle was not the Tanner Boyle I grew up watching. You people and all of your political correctness!)

The only real disappointment for me this summer was the performance of the Cubs. Inconsistency yet again was their downfall. Injuries were to blame too, I guess. Wait ‘til year! Football season isn’t looking very promising either. I think I’m starting to get sick of the whole sports world altogether. The arrogance and disregard for the spirit of competition is making me sick. Baseball is the only sport that is played like it was years ago… BUT, steroids have tainted its image. Is there nothing left for me to look forward to? So now I turn my love for athletic competition toward hockey. You better not let me down!

Hey Green Day! Wake up! September ended!

I just had to make sure my lameness was still around. Honestly though, I’ve been getting into Greenday for some reason. I remember when they first came out, I couldn’t stand them. Back then I was in to 2Pac, Keith Sweat, Jodeci, Dr. Dre and Snoop Doggy Dogg (That’s what we used to call him kids, back when he first came out… ask your parents). Now that’s old school! I guess in my old age I’ve learned to appreciate all types of music. I’ve always been into Oasis for some reason but I have been listening to The Killers, My Chemical Romance, Foo Fighters, Hawthorne Heights among others. The new R&B and rap is just getting too ridiculous. Then again, I could be getting old.

And that’s 536 words people. Wait, now its 541 words! I’m out! Now its 546!