Thirsty Thursday

My mood is about to be changing. How much longer can one feel so down? "You gotta keep on keepin' on," the great Joe Dirt once said. So from here on out, I'll be doing just that. One thing is for sure, my focus isn't where is should be yet, so the school thing is going to go on the backburner for a while. For how long? Who knows? But anyway, the search for Mrs. Roberts, Vol. II has begun and it looks like Vida Guerra is in the lead. You know Ms. Guerra, she's in the Frankie J. video "Obsession", she's on FHM's cover... she's VIDA F'n GUERRA!!! Yup, the next time I get married, it will be to her. And I will not marry anyone else unless it's her. As impossible as that sounds, it looks like I'm never getting married again. Which is fine by me. I plan on roaming this planet alone for the rest of my life. No, I'm not looking for pity. I've lived, I've learned. Nuff said. Naw mean?! But anyways, this RL Nation I live in has been turned upside down. You are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. In the minds of the public... that's another story. But, we'll see where everybody stands when the smoke clears. That's a topic for another time. Vida Guerra-Roberts... ah, that sounds hot. Don't you think? I'm out!!!

It Has Hit the Fan

Ahh, here we go. The blogger system lost a blog of mine yesterday, and I can't remember what it was about! So I'm bummed about that. But anyway, the news from God's Country is getting worse everyday. The media and the FBI are finding more and more details to drag this on. But, what you gonna do? They are just doing their jobs. I just don't know what to think anymore. The tragic events have taken place, most of the victims are layed to rest, and yet, there are still more ties to this somehow. The RL Nation will never recover from this if we aren't left alone. The healing will never finish. Lines are being drawn between families, fingers are starting to be pointed. We are being turned against each other and this is not the way for us to heal. Hopefully we can all stay together and not start anything that will be regretted later on. But, then again, what do I know? Good luck to us all.

...

I come to the blog world tonight, not as a blogger trying to be funny or one who complains about the smallest, dumbest things in life, but as a man whose heart has been shaken, confused, hurt, and many other things that I can't explain by the recent tragedy in my hometown of Red Lake, Minnesota. The RL Nation will never be the same. Could this have been prevented? Of course, but it won't do us any good to point fingers now. But, we must move forward. All we can do is send our thoughts and prayers to the families of the victims and hope they can recover from a disaster like this. I didn't know many of the students who were hurt, but I did know the security guard who died trying to save the youth of our nation. He was a year behind me in school and we played basketball and football together in school since I was in the 8th grade. He SHOULD be known as a hero for many years to come. We all owe this man so much. Who else can say when they get to heaven, they died trying to save a school full of kids? The media reports, though helpful, have made me physically ill. I just can't believe this is happening to Red Lake. The shock is still here. I see it and still can't believe it. All of my little problems seem like nothing now. I am ashamed that I have made such a big deal of my life knowing that there are more in my hometown that have so much grief to deal with. That's all I got for now.

The Countdown Is On

Greetings, fellow citizens of this fine country. Man, I'm such a kiss-ass! It's been a while since I've let out a rant, aye? So here it is: Woo! What an eye-opening week it's been for me. I've known for about the past few years that this is NOT the best place in the world to live. You would think that growing up in a Native community, everybody would look out for one another, like our ancestors did. It's not like that around here. And not everything can be blamed on alcohol. Now, like I've said before, I'm no angel either by any means. But, one thing that I've always tried to do is take responsibility for my actions. Yeah, I have trouble paying money back all the time, but who doesn't? Okay, maybe the money part is just me. But, I digress. The past few years I've had to deal with deaths (many) in my family, betrayed by those that had been close to me, my sister and nephews moving far away and... I think that's all. Oh yeah, and the whole college thing (which has been stressing me out more and more lately) BOO HOO!. So now I ask myself, "Is the juice worth the squeeze?" I don't think it is anymore. I heard that in a movie once (whoever knows that movie... well, I've done this before and nobody took me up on my prize so... EFF YOU THEN!!![hoh, I'm crazy, eh?]). But anyway, I think it's time for me to pack up and head on out of this place. I don't think I'll ever amount to more than a drunk with an average paying job around here. I know there is so much more for me out there. My people around here always bring me down anyway with how the disrespect, stupidity, and the mother of 'em all, DECEPTION flows within our borders. You can't trust anybody in Red Lake. So I've noticed there is not enough room around here for me to succeed like I want to. So, as of today, I'm on my last few days as a resident of the Little Rock community here in Red Lake, Minnesota. I've failed at so many things around this area, maybe I need a change of scenery. We shall soon find out. I'm outta here!

Do Be Do Be Dooooo!!!

DAY THREE: Read day two. It was pretty much the same thing and day four was just the loooong drive home battling the panic attacks, which I barely won. So there was my weekend. Pant-load of fun, pant-load of misery caused by many elements, mostly alcohol. I must admit that I now realize I have a problem. I don't drink because I need to, I do it out of boredom. And that looks like denial to me!!! I just don't want it to get out of hand so I must stop now. To do that, I'm afraid I'll have to stay away from those that make me want to drink. I'm at the most confusing time of my life right now, and alcohol won't help me find my way out of my state of confusion. So I'll do it for myself. CHARGE!!! There, now that's out of the way... on with the bloggin!!! Umm... I'm drawing a blank. Oh yeah!!! Spring break is upon us!!! So I'm heading to Cancun, Mexico... okay, no I'm not. I'm gonna try to get caught up on my school work and turn this motha around! I'm so lost. The school work is depressing me, among other things. But, whatever, man. It's time to get out of my funk (AGAIN!) and get back to focusing on school. So wish me luck with that. I'm off to TRY to do some work. Later.

What Happens in Aberdeen, Stays in Aberdeen

Day Two: Waking up on a Friday afternoon when I thought it was a Saturday was kind of a relief because I had another 2 days to get in trouble... oh yeah, and bowl. I ordered a Godfathers pizza (which I haven't had since I was a little fat guy) which was going to be my food for the rest of the weekend, because I was a little light on the bread. Got to the lanes about 4- ish, we had to bowl at 6, so I looked around, stood against the wall, put my left leg up against it, a smoke hanging from my lip, leaned back and let out the proverbial,"Alright, alright, alright," like one of the greatest movie characters of all time, Wooderson, as I eyed up the native competition/babes/savs, or whatever that came from all over the county, at least I think they came from all over the country. Bowling in front of everybody that night was a little nerve racking. That's my excuse for the shitty games I had (averaged about a 126 the first 3 games [u suck Roberts!!!]). Then after I embarassed myself at the alley, it was time to go to the dance and do the same. Yeah, baby! I danced and danced some more, George Jefferson style, hips gyrating and feet sliding (at least I wanted it to look like Geo Jeff), got drunker than balls, met new people (whose names I forgot anyway), went back to the hotel, invited everyone to my room, mingled with my guests, got kicked out of the hotel, got my BRAND NEW CUBS HAT STOLEN (!!!), talked my way into being able to get a different room while I was surrounded by about 6 cops at the front dest, drank some more (a couple beers), and went to bed. Good times. All the people were cool, only the typical boyfriend/girlfriend fight (I wanna go/I wanna stay! A$$hole/B!#@&). Wait... aww, man! I almost remembered a couple of names. Okay, I've decided I'm going back next year, baby!!!

I Hear the Train A' Comin'...

I forgot to give specific details about the dance at the bowling tourney on Friday AND Saturday. Silly me. But the action started on Thursday for me though.

DAY ONE: After a couple of "pounders" (16oz. BL's), I was feeling as free and released as Martha Stewart. A couple of RLer's were sitting with us at the bowling alley bar and it was on like VietKong (that was the only thing I could think of to rhyme)!!! Jonny 2 Beers was unleashed (that's my Aberdeen alias)!!! Nobody was free from the assault of one-liners I was tossing out that night. There was a few Jetson's theme song references, I found away to use up my 30 some shot disposable camera... and I don't remember too much after that for some reason, but I didn't blank out either. Hmm... must've been the Aberdeen air. I got to sleep in the next day so I wasn't feeling any ill effects of the pounders (that sounded kinda gay, NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT, MIND YOU!!!).

DAY TWO: I got a paper to write so it will be on after 4 ish. I'm off to learn. Later.

Alright, Alright, Alright...

Fresh off a 3 day bowling/drinking/hell-raising binge, I'm slowly trying to focus. Man, that was a lot of beer! I don't feel too bad though. My game was a little off... okay, my game was derailed as soon as I let my first ball go. But, while we were the last ones bowling the last day, I turned it up a notch while everybody was watching and finished the tourney with a 198. Yeah, boy-eee!!! Instant respect. The ride was a killer; 6 hours in the plains? Get the f*&% outta here! The beer drinking took it's toll on me by way of me having to fight off the panic attacks all weekend, so that sucked ass. It was just a rough weekend all around. Having doubts about going back next year. I need a new effin' hobby. School is going as smooth as gravel for me. If I pull this off this semester, it will the biggest comeback in the history of little indian boys who went to college. I get distracted so easily, it's embarrassing. The grades are going to suffer once again and since this is my last chance to dance as a... (damn! I couldn't find an appropriate rhyme!) college boy, my whole family is gonna be pissed, disappointed, and whatever else. I didn't even realize when I quit caring. I'm not motivated for anything lately. I don't want to do any school work, go anywhere, do anything. What the eff!!! I'm so close to finishing, but, motivation is my problem. Whatever, man. Maybe it was my last b-day. Pushing 30 might be too much for the Jon. It was the worst b-day I ever had. Even worse than when nobody showed up for my 12th b-day party. Boo-hoo! I have got to lay off the pity trips! What the hell is wrong with me? This isn't the Jonny R. I programmed! F*&% this, I'm going do some school work! Who's coming with me! Let's go! Oh, wait. I guess only I can do the school work, aye? Cripes!!! Well, I'm off to do some learnin'. Later gators! (At least my lameness is still intact.)