Can't Think of a Title For This One...

112905
1554 Hours

Over the past few days I’ve realized that I’m slowly losing my will to write. Why is that, I wonder? Stress? Money? Who knows. Also over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed that I’m having trouble sleeping again. I get sudden jerks in the middle of the night to keep me from going… I don’t know where. It seems like if I don’t wake up, I won’t ever wake up. Weird, huh? Yeah, Jon, that’s weird you weirdo! I really don’t have anything to be stressed out about. Maybe I’m just being a spoiled brat. I want it all and I’m upset that I don’t have everything I want. That sounds about right. Who the hell needs a shrink?! I am soooo smart.

Now I have to go and wonder why my family keeps getting smaller and smaller. I’ve always thought things happen for a reason. But now I’m starting to wonder.

R.I.P. Moon.

My Reasons for Being 

Do You Smell the Rot?

112205
1620 Hours

What is it with me and posting at 4:20? Not much really going on with me. But I did make 2 movies over the past few days. Two short films, one about my lame trip to Vegas and the other about two rival clans trying to establish dominance over one another by way of a turkey. It’s a long story. Actually, it’s only about 3 minutes long. And yet again, the Vikings have me a little optimistic. Not about playoff chances, but about sports in general. So far I’ve only watched about a quarter of a Wolves game and a few minutes of another NBA game. College football has caught my attention. Hockey is not working out like I hoped. I don’t even know the rules of the game let alone when the North Stars play. Apparently the Stars are now in Dallas and we are now the Wild. Whatever.

The Johnny Cash movie was awesome by the way. I didn’t really know the Cash saga, but I’m assuming the movie was pretty close. Now I want to sing and marry Reese Witherspoon. Oops! Disregard the last of my previous ambitions. I think my love for writing is starting to rot and it’s starting to smell. I can’t think of anything else to add. But my love for movie making is in full swing. All I need now is a decent camera. Hollywood, here I come!!! Maybe.

One more thing; I need a sign off, uh, sign. I see people post on their blogs with cool sign off deals. Hmm… what could mine be? J.R.? Nah, that reminds me of J.R. Ewing (now that’s old, old school TV drama!!!). LJR? Too corny. Ah ha! J2B! As in Jonny 2 Beers! But in never got a ruling having to change that name since I don’t drink anymore or the fact that was my Aberdeen alias and I’m not in Aberdeen anymore. Maybe I should’ve just started doing it without all of this discussion with myself. I need a new hobby.
--J2B

HIT THE MUSIC!!!

111805
1448 Hours

(Cue The Emperor’s March, AKA Vader’s music)

Yes good people of the blog universe, I return to you. My prior plot of total blogworld domination has been foiled yet again by those meddling kids, laziness and short attention span (and I woulda gotten away with it too...) What else is new? Having just witnessed the Superman Returns trailer (looks a tad on the weak side) and minutes from attending the Johnny Cash biopic, Walk the Line (which by the way, received 4 stars in my 2 favorite papers), all is well in the world of Jon. Apparently, the blogworld doesn’t revolve around me, as my ego first thought. Well actually, I never thought that, it just seemed like something cool to say. 147 days of sobriety (it took me a few seconds to figure that out) and not a hint of regret. I’ve actually been swamped at work with numbers and stuff. I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing, so I must look pretty smart. The words don’t really like to flow on a Friday afternoon, so… on that note, I’m out!!! Maybe more words of encouragement tomorrow! Peace out, players (yessssssssssssssss… still the lamest!!!)

(In the immortal words of "Ravishing" Rick Rude, CUT THE MUSIC!!!)

Doom on You!

111005
1620 Hours

With impending doom (war, natural disasters, terrorism and all that good stuff) just around the corner for us all, I’ve pondered many thoughts on life recently:

Ten years from now, how will I be remembered? Have I done anything worth a pat on the back? Honestly, I haven’t. My only claim to fame so far is having a comment posted on the Sports Guy’s website. What have I done with first 29 years of my life?! What can I do to establish dominance over this world? I mean there must be more to life than just entertaining myself with my blogging, right? With parenthood I’ve struggled. But then again, who hasn’t? I’m absolutely positive I’ve kicked the alcohol habit (COLD TURKEY, BABY!!!). The life I’ve been working on is not even close to the one I imagined growing up. If it were, I would be waiting to collect my 3rd NL MVP trophy as a member of the World Champion Chicago Cubs. Sadly, that dreamed vanished during my freshman year of high school when I realized that the baseball could not be seen and only heard while trying to make contact during batting practice. So now I look for other ways to be successful in life. The only thing that I know for sure is that I must get off this “Rez” to be successful. It hurts to say that, but it’s true.

But anyway, enough with the Red Lake bashing; let’s talk about important things in life… like me! The new diet is off to a slow start. Although I haven’t totally kicked my soda habit, I’ve slowly been taking it out of my everyday routine. Baby steps, baby.

Is anybody else excited for the Johnny Cash movie?! I guess not.

I think I want to get into the movie bizz! I’ve made two so far and enjoyed every minute of the process. Can one just jump right into the movie business I wonder? I guess not everyone can be like Quentin Tarantino. But why the hell not?!

As of right now, I’m considering all celebrities to be car wrecks. It looks miserable to be famous with all of the paparazzi surrounding them. Sucks being them!

I have a prediction to make; I see the Chronicles of the Lion, Narnia or whatever the hell that movie is called, being a big flop. I don’t know why, I just think it’s all been done in LOTR. But, that’s just me. What the hell do I know?

And with that, I’m out! Have an awesome Veteran’s Day weekend!!! Peace! Is that ironic?

Are We There Yet?!

110805
1600 Hours

How time flies when you’re bored out of your mind, don’t you think? For the past week I’ve done nothing constructive, waited for life to hand me $40 million for no apparent reason and tried the diet thing. But, last night while I was watching MNF, I snuck a drink of pop, which was the biggest mistake of the week so far. About an hour later while trying to sleep, I jumped out of bed like it was on fire. Apparently the caffeine shocked the hell out of my fat body! So as of right now, actually last night, I will never cheat on my diet again. I think that was a sign. Stupid caffeine! So that’s that.

I’ve also lifted my boycott for the NBA. I realized that I need something to look forward to instead of looking at our depressing society everyday in the news. Even if they are spoiled, rich, and attention hungry prima donnas, it keeps my mind on positive things. Besides, it will be so much fun to laugh at them when they fall from their underserved pedestal. Just don’t be surprised if I reinstate my boycott due to lack of respect for the game.

T.O. you cocky, arrogant motherf*****! You’ll get nothing and like it!

Wow! I really am bored. I have nothing to share with the world. But I found this:

Your Birthdate: February 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame.You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them.Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing.You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship. Your strength: Your charm Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics Your power color: Indigo Your power symbol: Four leaf clover Your power month: December

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

I'm Sooooooo Bored...

110105
1543 Hours

With Halloween behind us, Thanksgiving just around the corner, and the dreaded Christmas shopping season not quite in full swing yet (I usually like to shop 2 days before Christmas ‘cause I love the rush), it is time to start thinking about a new hobby for The Jon. Since I have clearly dominated the alcoholism thing (120 some odd days now), I need a new conquest. The graphic novel thing sounds good, but motivation is needed for such a task. Ideas of how one goes about dominating the graphic novel bizz would be good start. But, for the time being I’ll just have to stick to what I know: Being lazy and getting fatter and fatter. Speaking of weight gain, I think that I might be maxed out. I’ve been eating like a bum on Thanksgiving Day and haven’t really noticed a significant gainage of poundage. And I have been putting away the cheeseburgers, pizzas, hot wings, candy, pop and everything else a fat kid isn’t supposed to have. WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?! So, after I finish the current 12er of Coke… it’s nothing but exercise, water and… come to think of it, I don’t even know what healthy food looks like! Maybe I’ll try the Subway diet like Jared and become muscle less pile of goo like him. Wish a brotha luck! The diet starts Thursday. Well, maybe it should start after payday. Hmm… ah hell!