I'M COMING FOR YOU

On this 28th day of June, 2005, I am relinquishing my sanity. From this day forth, I am no longer the mild tempered individual I have been trying to be for the past few years. Years of witnessing such disrespect and stupidity, I am now throwing in my hat to the world of wrecklessness that is fighting anyone who looks at me wrong or has ill feelings towards me. I know the consequences and am willing to deal with those consequences to prove a point. AND I'M COMING AFTER YOU!!! Okay, now that that's off my hairless chest, I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things. By the way, I didn't mean any of that rubbish. Scared you, didn't I? That's how I was feeling the past few days. Never meant to share it though. The stress and drama are getting to me. But it has now passed. Alcohol has once again entered my life and has shown me the way of the righteous man... AGAIN! I don't even know why I bother with it. Peer pressure is a mother! Whatever. But, I have to admit, I am being pushed closer and closer to the... uh, well, nevermind. The less you know the better. (Cue evil laugh.) I'm out!

Lord Jon... Riiiiiiiiise!

(YAAAAAAAAAWN!) Holy cripes! You'll have to excuse my absence, I've been napping(mentally) for the past 10 days. Running 2 softball teams is a lot of work, especially when we aren't very good. Just kidding. We rule(the Halfway House anyway)!!! Overall, my 2 teams are combined 1-6. It's still a learning process. Yeah, so, that's going on and not much else. I've just been avoiding everything and everybody, laying low, drama-free for the past couple of weeks. Oh yeah, Michael Jackson's free!!! Boooooo!!! If you have enough money, you can do whatever the hell you want. I need some money. Beware of Tom Cruise, he'll try to hypnotize you! Or something of that nature. The Cubs are up and down, not really setting the league on fire like they were earlier. The inconsistency is still a major hurdle. At least Mark Prior might be back on Sunday! Yay!!! Game 7 of the Finals is on tonight and Duncan has a big chance to curl up in his bed and hide(again) in front of the world and let the Pistons show how a team can win it all together(somebody tell Kobe). Man, I wish I coulda been a boy scout. They teach them kids how to survive anything. Anybody want to donate to the United Jonny R. College Fund? I'm going to have to pay on my own this year for sure this time. I swear, I think I have a learning disability. Woo-woo! I have no idea where that outburst came from, really, I don't. I'm such a weirdo. This is my 3rd day without a soda pop and I'm just about to start scratching like a crackhead pretty soon and offer favors for a shot of pop. Okay, maybe not that bad. But it is bad. CHEESE AND RICE, I NEED A POP!!! Sheet, I'm going to lunch. I'm out!!! Oh yeah, 14 days without alcohol... God help me.

At Least We're Trying!

Today, after a weekend of rest and relaxation, I come back to the everyday world well-rested, faith in the society restored (for now) and a new outlook on life. After weeks... no, months as a directionless drunk, I now know what I have to do. Well, not really... but I have seen what I am becoming. I have to be a coach. Youngins' are looking up to me for the first time in my life (that I've noticed anyway). I'm actually trying to be responsible. What is this world coming to? Me, responsible! Wow. I'm in awe of myself for something good for once. Before it was usually like, "Wow. I drank for 2 days straight." Even though my adult co-ed team is 0-2 on the season and we have been beat by a combined score of 40-5, I still have confidence in our "upside". It's our first time playing together and most of my players have about 10+ years of rust built up each, but we will come together soon. My youth team looks more promising. We play our first game next Monday and I think we have a good chance of being pretty decent. 30+ kids, some of them should be good, right? That sounded mean, didn't it? Well, that's how coaches are! Right? Well, I don't know either. But that's how my coaches were in school. Practice at 5:30 tonight!!! Woo!!! Go Wolfpack!!!

Happy FWiJ!

Day 13 is here! Woo! I feel like... uh, I don't know what I feel like. Hmm... I'm a little full due to the funyuns and coca cola and 3 musketeers. Yeah, I needs me some junk food. It completes me. WTF is going on in the world? War, steroids, NBA playoffs (which I'm actually watching because my NBA boycott was only for the regular season) and... the Cubs have won 7 games in a row, and, I think, if my memory serves me correctly, 10 out of 12. Yay!!! This is the year, man!!! Derrek Lee is making a, although premature, run at the triple crown and they're within 5.5 games of the team I hate the most in the world and soon to be faltering Cardinals. Woo hoo!!! F'n aye!!! Is it just me, or is Paris Hilton's 15 minutes almost up? Now she's getting married? What is the world going to with a married Paris Hilton? She can't make a tape with her husband! Ish!!! (that's my word I'm bringing back from back in the day Red Lake... it's a word to show displeasure or dislike... so ISH!!! pass it on... or not, whatever... wait, I think only old ladies used to say that now that I think about it... so nevermind... Look! What's that?! *The Jon tries to change the subject and go hide*) So... yup, yup... not much else going on on this day. Just going to cut grass, practice with my team of promising youth and TRY to stay out of trouble. Nah, hell with that! I'm going to go and PAR-TAY! (I'm trying the reverse psychology thing again since it worked so well last week... or did I jinx it now? Cripes!!!) And I'll have a beer for everyone and save you all a spot in the new RL Criminal Complex!!! Happy First Weekend in June (my new favorite holiday), everybody!!! I'm ou... (by not adding the "t", I'm stating that I was so happy for this new holiday, I left work early and couldn't finish typing and... well, nevermind... I guess I coulda just typed it.)

The Sober Way: Episode XIII: Day 11

What a fine summer it's looking to be. Well, not really. Sober for for 11 days! That's the longest I've been without a drink in some time. It keeps my head clear, to concentrate on other things, like the usual confusion that plaques me on a regular basis. But it's all straightening out for me now. I see the silver lining that is... uh, I couldn't think of anything positive this early in the morning. Yeah, anyway... some of my book has been posted, I took a part of it off because I need to retool it. It didn't come out like I thought it would. It sounded so much better in my head. But then again, everything does. I'll fix it right now and post that part again in a smidge, so patience to the one (or none) of you that has taken the time to read it so far. And for those of you english majors, writers or others that blog and see mistakes, let me know. It would be very helpful to get some advice or corrections. It can only make me that greatest writer that has come out of the Little Rock district in the Red Lake Nation! YEAH, BABY! LITTLE ROCK! So, don't be shy. I'll fix some parts and post it later on today. So I'm outta here!