Tick Tock, Tick Tock...

112106
1852 Hours

33 bucks. That’s all I have left to spend on my small business loan. Where did it all go? Ah, hell! I don’t know. But I do know that it’s all in front of me now. I see it coming together like… like… I don’t know… like “Grits n’ Gravy" said, “… come together like buttcheeks.” It does look like I’ll be up and ready by December 5, which is a good sign for a businessman. I set a deadline and I’m coming through on the deadline. One thing that I need though is a website because I’m going to need a lot more than 100mb to display my videos that they offer on MySpace and You Tube. So if there are any web designers out there, I’m interested, man.

With that out of the way, I must ramble (Ramblers, let’s get ramblin’!):

Welcome, Alfonso Soriano. It’s this way to the first championship on the north side in 99 years. ’07 is the year, baby! I’m actually going to get to celebrate a championship for the first time in my life since we won the 1987 youth softball tournament. Being a Wolves fan (former fan, since my boycott of the ’04-’05 season, the interest hasn’t been back yet), Vikings fan (STUPID FALCONS! STUPID GARY ANDERSON! STUPID ROBERT GRIFFITH AND COREY FULLER NOT HOLDING ON TO THAT INTERCEPTION!), and of course, the Cubs, I have not been blessed with a winner or the ability to jump on bandwagons without guilt. But that’s going to change next year.

Months ago, while trying to be a politician (for those of you that don’t know, I unsuccessfully ran for Little Rock District Representative in the May election, kicked ass at the Minneapolis forum, created a little following at www.jonnyr2976.blogspot.com, only to be defeated by the incumbent and the former representative in the primaries… thinking back to those memories, they were kind of boring. Not really any juicy campaign smearing going on, quite civil really, despite my best attempts of nit-picking other campaigns. I learned quite a bit and would have done it a lot differently. I would’ve made some more motherf*ckin’ noise all the way to the tribal council for one thing! I-yih-yih-yih-yih-yih-yih!!! [or however you war-hoop in typing]), I brought up how Red Lake could become the entertainment capital of Indian country by having the right tools. And wouldn’t you know it, I’m doing my part, brah! What I’m interested in are the stories of each and every Red Laker. Everybody has some interesting tale of growing up here. Not me though, I’m lame. I would like some story ideas to put on film. I would say send them anonymously, but that would be kind of hard to do via e-mail or leaving messages on the MySpace or Blogger page. So, do with it whatever you like. I-yih-yih-yih-yih-yih-yih!!!

As you may or may not know, I’m going to start with a Warriors basketball highlight reel after every game (ESPN-style!), hopefully get some interviews with the coaches and players, post them on-line (hopefully I can get my own website going by then) for the world to see. After that, I’m going to whore my services to various programs in the glorious nation of Kaz--, uh, Red Lake, hopefully make enough money to do some pet projects like going on the powwow trail with Battle River for the season (as seen in the teaser trailer in video section of www.myspace.com/jonny2beers/ and www.myspace.com/94warriorsstudios/) and possibly making some other films. I’m open for ideas and looking for talent and stuff.

And come together like buttcheeks when I leave!

Here It Is!

111806
1955 Hours

The day is getting closer. December 5, 2006 will be the first day of business for 94 WARRIORS STUDIOS and with the first teaser trailer on-line, it actually looks like a legitimate business venture, though it took me all day to compress my footage to get it on the MySpace pages (because, like “The Sports Guy,” I’m an idiot… really, ask my wife… I am.) The “Battle River” project has actually been in the works for a few years. I just finally came through with the resources to get started. So that should be an interesting few months.

But in the mean time, to pay the bills I’ll be offering my services to the great citizens of the Red Lake Nation and the many local businesses/programs that could use some video production, for a fee of course. Send an e-mail while visiting this site or www.myspace.com/94warriorsstudios/ to inquire about services and prices.

Enough of the whoring my services!

Alpha Nerd in the House

110806
2253 Hours

The days are going by faster and faster. What I’ll miss the most are the campaign ads. Won’t you? Taking cheap shots at certain words by not using them the same way as they were intended is what America is all about, is it not? Viva liberals!

I have no idea what I just said. Those 90s were pretty hard on the old man. I’m old, I’m confused! And a little burnt out. Or is it burned out? Either way, I’ve had my fun. It’s time for the next generation to f*** up and learn the hard way. May experience teach you well, young drunks of the world. Or you can just learn from us “Bush Leaguers” and/or Nancy Reagan and “Just Say No!”

Ah, the 80s; filled with “Pac-Man,” the Atari 2600, a normal Michael Jackson and of course, Eddie “Party All the Time” Murphy. I know if I were in the studio and Eddie was going in to record, I would’ve been all, “Are you serious?!” even though I was only about 9-years-old. Speaking of “PATT,” would Rick James have been as cool as he is now if it were not for Dave Chappelle?

MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION FOR AN IMPORTANT BULLETIN: I have decided to rid myself of the “Soul Patch.” It was not meant to be a fashion statement in the years it was on my ugly face, it was purely for comfort. Yeah, I was never trying to be cool. It’s so rare for me to have facial hair (except for the cool ‘stache I used to rock from late high school until early 21st century) which caused irritation when I would cut it. I’ve said too much. But for the rest of you with the full mustaches only look, keep on rockin’ em… they’re on their way back along with “The Tail.” Okay, maybe they’re not. But at least they look cool! (wink, wink)

With the recent hold up of my impending business venture, it surely does pay to have patience. If not for that patience, I would’ve ordered all the wrong stuff and f***** up the whole plan. Plus patience helps in the real world too. Right now I have more patience than a free-clinic doctor. (Ohhh!) That is going into my rap song if I ever decide to become a dope rapper. But anyone who wants to use it is more welcome than the new democrats in the house and senate! (Nerrrrrrrr-deeeeeee!!!) Dang it! I lost my coolness in a matter of 3 sentences. Nothing new to me though.

Quote of the day (which is what I’m going to use during the coin-flip for the softball season next year): “Is this it priest, the pope’s new army, a few crusty b!tches and a handful of rag tags?”

Any one of my 3 readers know what that’s from? Come on! First correct answer gets a coupon for the soon-to-open “94 Warriors Studios” for… uh, I’m not sure yet. Begin!

p.s. be my friend... come aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhn!