Kev and Terry's Deep Discussion About the Trail

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Free Bees (not actual bees)

032107
2302 Hours

Days have gone by and only one stepped forward to accept the challenge given to the MySpace world. Maybe only one could have. Who else sat in front of the magic picture box on a Sunday night anticipating the next day of school by following the lives of a special family from Chicago? Of my 142 friends, it looked like only me and Mr. Dalton Walker, that’s who! Mr. Walker is the one who knew that it was the great Al “Touchdown” Bundy that so eloquently said, “I served my country… I played high school football.” For his knowledge and time spent reading “The Blog Ignored By Millions,” he wins the first ever 94 Warriors Studios T-Shirt, which should be available soon. But if anybody wants to order one, let me know. I’ll sell them to make sure I can afford more equipment for the business. So when you see Dalton online, congratulate him. And thanks for the kind comments, budd!

Speaking of the business, I am giving a one-time offer for those aspiring musicians who would like to make a video. This one-time offer is to get me some experience in directing a music video. Now I know I earlier said this could be done for a fee, but as of right now, I’m feeling a little squirrelly and offering the services for free this ONE-TIME. So if you know a musician or you are a musician waiting to tell the story visually for one song, let me know. Send me a message on here, send me an e-mail at lydelljroberts06@hotmail.com or if you see me around, let me know. I only look mean and busy, so don’t be shy. ONE-TIME offer for whoever. (or is it whomever?) I’ll do a few, so be sure and let me know ASAP.

With that, I realize that I don’t know Young Jeezy from any other rapper with a “Young” in their title, or rappers with a “Lil” in their name for that matter, but I have seen a few videos back in the day. I grew up when it was “Hammer Time,” baby! I know what’s hip, cool, funky, dope, fresh and… okay, that’s the extent of my hip-hop lingo. But still, I’m a professional BSer and can tell one hell of a story, which is what directing is all about. This makes me sound like a “Street Pharmacist.” I lure you in with free stuff only to sucker you in once you’re hooked and a customer forever. But you’ll have fun and not get in trouble with my product.

So tell your friends… FREE STUFF! And place your order for 94 Warriors Studios T-Shirts if you dare ta.

Baby Want Some Milk?

031507
1853 Hours

While pondering the meaning of life and how I could have possibly underestimated Adam Sandler’s bros. in Grandma’s Boy, I have realized that a bro like this is hard to come by. I mean, how many of your friends would go to the looney bin with you?

I’ve also come to the realization my son, Jaxson Ray Roberts is the great Sam Kinison reincarnated. My son is quite fond of his vocal cords and shows them off at every opportunity. May God have mercy on us all.

Quiz: Who said, “I served my country… I played high school football.” Free 94 Warriors t-shirt to the first correct answer.

How would you tell Pokey Chatman to “Keep it in your pants,” without actually saying “Keep it in your pants.” You can’t tell a woman to keep it in her pants can you? Or have I not watched enough adult entertainment?

What is with DMX on my page? “Alpha Dog” made that song sound cool, but being that lame-ass Bemidjigamaag didn’t bring it around here, I look stupider (my word for the month) than I normally would.

5-2 on my bracket so far. Not good, but not bad either. You’re going down 7 Clans employees! The Sports Guy sold me on Kevin Durant. Go Longhorns!

People around my age:

Tiger Woods: The greatest golfer of all-time, does a butt-load of charity work.

Leonardo DiCaprio: 3-time (?) Academy Award nominated actor, environmentalist.

Angelina Jolie: Academy Award winning actress, U.S. Ambassador to something important, adopts less-fortunate orphans from around the world.

Lydell J. Roberts: Slacker, recovering alcoholic, overweight weekend-warrior.

Who doesn’t belong?

I’m going do something that will change the world… or something that doesn’t involve gaining weight.

Adios, turd nuggets.

On MySpace (94warriorsstudios)

031407
2133 Hours

First of all, I would like to acknowledge the dozens (and dozens) of new friends that have come aboard during my MySpace friend request rampage over the past week. Out of boredom came a pantload of contacts—I mean friends! In the words of Dr. Evil, “Some of you I know, some of you I’m meeting (well kinda) for the first time.” Like I said earlier, it was quite a task to get through the RLHS alumni list. I had to guess some last names; some of them I got, others I missed. If I happened to pass some by, that was the reason or I just plain ol’ missed you. Up next are the BSU alumni which I should be done with in about 17 months.

Other than that, I was asked to get a table at the RLHS career fair on Friday, where I no doubt offended some, probably gave bad advice to others or was just as clueless about my future as those I was supposed to “guide.” I’m 31-years-old right now and I just now figured out what I want to do for the rest of my life. So maybe I wasn’t the right one for the task. Or maybe I was. Who knows? Who cares? But here’s some advice to those that attended the career fair: Learn to read and right the proper way. The wHoLe WrItInG sHiT lIkE tHiS oN yOuR pAgEs DoEsN’t ReAlLy LoOk GoOd On JoB oR cOlLeGe aPpLiCaTiOnS. Plus when you know how, it makes you look smart… which is the only smart thing about me. Oh yea, and PULL UP YOUR PANTS!

Wait, what the hell was the purpose of this? Oh yea, how do you do fellow RLHS graduates? As we push 130-some friends, it kind of puts a lot of pressure on writing something witty and smart. And if that’s what you came for, you’re definitely in the wrong place. I alone carry the torch of the short, stocky, slow-witted bald man (kinda) the great George Louis Costanza lit so many years ago.

Other than that, it’s late, I’m old, and I have to “work” tomorrow. By the way, check out the www.sevenclanscasino.com site for an awesome virtual tour of the water park done by none other than 94 Warriors Studios. I’m also in the process of writing some lame skits to get the ball rolling so I can have videos to share. The writer’s block has overtaken my brain for now.