... And Drink Some Cherry Wine

072907
1334 Hours

For damn near a quarter-century, I have uttered the words, “This is the year, baby!” religiously. (The “baby” part coming within the past decade or so.) As a devout follower of the “Lovable Losers,” this 1.5 game deficit in late July in the NL Central standings (2 GB in the wildcard) has left me a little capricious. “Why can’t they pull it off?” I ask. WHY THE FUCK NOT?! Me? I don’t deserve it. But there are many more that have been in this boat without oars much longer than I and I will enjoy the ride more than anyone if it were meant to be.

My Grandpa Shorty got me hooked in the summer of ’84 and the soothing (though Budwieser fueled) voice of Harry “Terry” (that’s what he called him), which became a staple in my summer time schedule to this day. Ron Cey, Ryne Sandberg, Jody Davis, Leon Durham, The Sarge, Rick Sutcliffe… those were the days, man!

As Derrek Lee rounds the bases after a 2-run shot to put the Cubs up by four, I think solemnly, “WHY THE FUCK NOT?!” once again. While we’re on the Cubs, I’m going to say that Carlos Zambrano is not only going to win the Cy Young Award, but he’s going to win the NL MVP. Remember it, write it down, take a picture; I don’t give a fuck! I said it! What?!

(While I think of more crap to write, enjoy another sign that musicians are running out of ideas. Were Gym Class Heros sitting around saying, “You know that Jermaine Stewart had some dope beats…”? I think they were... then they drank some cherry wine. Those that are wondering why I know Jermaine Stewart and his videos: Hey man, you had to keep busy when your older sisters brought over ugly friends to watch Friday Night Videos and not be offended by the un-hotness stinking up the house.)

I’m new to the whole comic scene, but how awesome does this look? (What the hell would writers/bloggers do without YouTube?)

With election season around the corner and next year’s Red Lake Tribal Election a few months before that, I am offering my services for tribal candidates to do a commercial for their website once they realize that the internet is not the Devil. Come on, candidates! It’s the 21st century. Last election I believe it was only myself, Chairman “Buck” Jourdain and one of my opponents, Chris Jourdain that took it to the web. When I realized I capitalized on the opportunity to reach many more voters by going the blog route, I knew I was worthy of my “Time Person of the Year” award. And no, true to my word, I’m not going to run again. I and the 23 people who voted for me are still planning on starting a church or something. The Little Rock community had their chance! Hiiiiike!

The Summer That Were... Or Was

Once again it seems as if we are only getting 3 weeks of summer. There’s about a month left and those weekends are already taken for me with 3 birthdays and my 7th anniversary, which for pretty much the whole summer left little time for my Battle River project. Being that it was an independent project, which meant all the production costs would come from my pocket, there were little funds for such a huge (by my standards anyway) project. I mean, I could’ve done it, but my kids would be in rags with little in the cupboards to eat which probably would’ve left me homeless and pulling my wife’s shoe out of my ass. So, though it’s not what I wanted it to be, the Battle River DVD will be done in a few weeks.

Let’s see… what else is there, besides “Scott Baio is 45… and Single,” and is raping my eyes and ears. Is this what “Entourage” looks like 15 years down the road, two has-beens and a couple of guys that are trying too hard when the camera is on them? Sometimes I am ashamed to be a man. What happened to you, Wayne Arnold, the Michael Jordan of big brothers?

Getting back to Battle River, the few times I was out on the trail with them, I realized “You got my back?” and “Whaaaatch thiiiiis…” is not something you want to hear when you’re out with them when they’re out “mingling.”

I’m thinking of going to barber school. I mean, someone has to put a stop to “The Mullet” and “The Tail.” (I recently gave my nephew a haircut and purposely left him a “Tale” to be the “Uncle of All Uncles” and hateful like the late, great “Joe Rob.” It backfired because my eccentric nephew loved it. So the jokes on me and I now have to polish my uncle skills some more… and now my nephew has a TAIL!)

This is just fuckin’ great! Its bad enough my MySpace friends are deserting me, now I have to deal with this shit?

For those of you that look at my profile and don’t understand where I’m from, you better recognize! Sid and I were born and raised.

Some of you may have noticed a short fat guy huffing and puffing around the Red Lake Independence Day powwow with a camera (a handsome one I might add). Yeah, that was me, struggling to get up those steps and sweating like a pig (though technically, pigs don’t sweat, but an argument could be made after checking out the RL powwow.) I’m still working on the footage, which takes so long because you can’t just throw footage together and expect a decent product. I mean I could, but I like to use that as an excuse for being lazy. So that footage should be out within the next couple of weeks.

Long live Chief Rain in the Pants! Hoka! (My new word from being on the powwow trail… that and “Oh-huh, oh-huh.”