Fuckin' YouTube

021209
1005 Hours

Today is the day that no one shall go unentertained (apparently that's not a word)! I return to you, good people of MySpace and Blogger for the sole purpose of sharing life experiences that will hopefully lead you all to the succulent fruits of being awesome (as in the powerful, 'New Jack' words of Jodeci) "Every freakin' day, every freakin' night."

I hope you'll all excuse my long "sabbatical." The past few months have been a blur with Christmas (where I checked my usual 'Scrooge' attitude at the door), work, travels (Vikings playoff game) and an unusually long bout of laziness I couldn't shake. It was like a bad case of head lice. But now I'm back.

On with the thoughts!

One recent thought has to do with my son's fascination with wrestling. He calls his Val Venis guy "Hello Ladies," his Finlay "Alex" because he looks like my nephew Alex, his John Cena, well... John Cena. But I am most proud because he acknowledges the past and adores his "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes guy by calling him Dusty Rhodes. I bring this up because I have been watching a little WWE lately and have been bored to death with these new "Superstars." They have the personality of a 2X4 and all look like male strippers (I'm assuming that's what male strippers look like!) Randy Orton is the worst of them all. He stands there and glares. That's it! And he has two guys on each side of him who looked like they were fake cops who just took their uniforms off and ready to start dancing to the Village People. So my mission is to show Jaxson what "wrasslin'" was all about, man; where robust gentlemen like Dusty Rhodes, 'Playboy' Buddy Rose and Adrian Adonis, who without shirts, muscles, tans or baby oil were known as gods to the everyday fan. Woo! And how come nobody brings up 'Cowboy' Bob 'Ace' Orton's style of the fringe, leather vest and cowboy hat to the 'Legend Killer?' Wouldn't that be like the Yo' Mamma joke for wrestlers? Just asking.

Yet another, off topic though: For some reason, I believe some of our Tribal Council members are in need of a makeover ASAP. At least take a page out of the chairman's book anyway, who is very stylish and dresses the part of Leader of the Free Nation. Let's lose the sleeveless T-shirts when we're speaking to oil executives, shall we?

But for now, fuckin' YouTube derailed an awesome blog. Be on the look out for more awesome with me having the next few days off from work. FUCKIN' YOUTUBE!!! Let's change the name of it to Fuckin' YouTube.

Spicolli Rules!

022209
2326 Hours

Krah! I thought Mickey Rourke had that Oscar wrapped up. But, after getting a good look at the other nominees, any one of those guys deserved it as much as the other. Cool buzz and some tasty waves for Spicolli tonight!

The Heath Ledger win had me feeling something you humans call emotions this evening. How awesome was that?!

With all of the Oscaring it up now gone, it makes me want to win one. Not just be nominated but to win a motherfucker, you know?! Since my dream of being the National League MVP for the World Champion Chicago Cubs evaporated after a few Corey Graves fastballs that could only be heard and not seen, I will have to resort to the next greatest achievement, which is Oscar glory! Now I know that On the Road Battle River Style is not a prime example of Scorcese-esque filmmaking, but you have to start somewhere.

Doesn't Jerry Lewis make you want to do something with your life? He's helped kids with MS for over 50 years. Kind of makes my donating $2 to his kids at Sta-Mart look like... well, two bucks.

Now, I haven't seen Slumdog Millionaire yet, and it's sounds like an excellent movie (Best Picture), but the American people can cheer a poverty-stricken nation like it's nothing they have never seen before when they have 304 such nations in their own backyard?! Um, I don't know where I was going with that. I don't even know what it means. I just thought I'd throw that out there.

But enough about all of that. I saw Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail today and thought, "Shhhhhhit... I could do that! (make a movie about comedy, love, drama and minorities) I think Tyler Perry is one of my idols even though he takes steroids (allegedly).